Our connection was lost in the hustle and bustle of life. I spend my days looking after our 1 year old who seems to be entering the infamous terrible 2’s phase very earlier. And my husband spent his days at a luxury housing community resolving any issues the residents there had.
Needless to say between work and each of us very desperate for some alone time, there was no time for intimacy. Or should I say we didn’t make any time for it, it wasn’t at the top of my list and sex certainly didn’t happen organically anymore. holding hands was a thing of the past. And the make out sessions that we once shared had transformed into short kisses goodbye and hello.
So as any woman in 2017 would do, I went to the web to find a solution to my problem. I found a wide range of “solutions”- cheating, prayer, toys and advice on how to just live without out sex. (Major eye roll) The internet had failed me.
I decided to unbiasedly evaluate my situation and make a list of all the things that could be causing this disconnect. I realized that my partner’s lack of desire, romance, love, and sex drive boiled down to him. How he feels about himself, him having a busy mind, him feeling tired or angry or exhausted, you name it, thought, the list goes on. Life, work, family issues, stress, and worry were all taking their shots at my husband and I suddenly realized that I was too busy with my son to notice. I was too tired myself to see what my husband was dealing with.
After taking a step back and looking at our life and lifestyle, I was able to see areas in our life that I could tweak in order to not only restore intimacy in my marriage but also restore my husband. There were simple things that I was already doing that I could do differently to improve our connection and mental state. Things like the way I spoke to him and cooking.
I choose not to discuss this with my husband because in the past this conversation of intimacy only caused more stress and arguments. So this time I decided to take a leap of faith and put into action some of the changes I came up with and could commit to doing. Now usually I prefer to share everything with my husband but I figured hey, actions speak louder than words.
within less than a week I felt closer to my husband and I could tell he was happier, we both were. Our intimacy was restored in all ways. Holding hands while walking, smiling while talking to each other and we actually began to listen to each other without getting offended ( what a bonus).
So without further ado, down below you will find 7 things I did to restore the intimacy in my marriage.
( Please take into consideration your relationship while reading and only do the things that make sense for you and your husband. I’m sharing what worked for me. I am not a doctor or therapist. I’m just a wife who found something that works for her and is sharing it because it may work for others. )
- Smile At Him
The simple act of smiling lets him know that you are happy with him, nothing is wrong and he’s done nothing to upset you. So smile at your husband ladies. This allows him to put his guard down, which in turn allows him to get closer to you and you to him.
2.Compliment Everything He Does Because Who Doesn’t Love A Compliment
Of course you should compliment him in the morning and let him know he looks good before heading off to work. But don’t stop there. Also let him know that the lawn looks good, he did a great job cleaning the cars, feeding the kids or tucking them in for bed, cooking, cleaning, handling a billing dispute on the phone. Whatever it is that you can compliment him on or give him praise for a job well done, do it. Believe me, your husband loves to know you are pleased with him and that you see all that he does. This will not only boost his confidence but he will also be happier and more productive. YAY!!!
3.Encourage Him To Exercise
Get active. If you can do this together, great but if not, at least try to get him to start doing any kind of physical activity. Getting active will boost his confidence in himself and give him more energy. Even if you get him to play basketball or go to the gym only once or twice a week, that’s a great start.
4.Cook Healthier Meals
Food! This is what fuels his body. You want him happy, energized, healthy and alert NOT feeling bloated and sluggish. One is sexy and the other is not ladies. In order for him to be sexy, he must first, feel sexy.
5. Vitamins, Vitamins, Vitamins
Make sure you get your man some vitamins to supplement all the healthy “stuff” he needs that he may not be getting from his meals. This will help him feel good on the inside, reduce sleepiness and it’ll boost his energy for sure.
6.Keep Him Hydrated
Water is good for all things. Keeping him hydrated means fewer headaches, relieves stress, provides his body with more oxygen which is amazing and drinking more water aids in weight loss. All leading you to a healthier hubby.
Good Luck Ladies. Please Let Me Know IF This Helped 🙂
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